60-Second Mind Shift: From Default to Design - How Coaching Helps You Consciously Create Your Life
Supporting you to free your mind so you can live from your heart!
"Life is not about finding yourself; life is about creating yourself."
– George Bernard Shaw
From Default to Design: How Coaching Helps You Consciously Create Your Life
Many of us spend our lives searching for who we are, believing we need to “find” ourselves to feel whole. But what if we are already whole and complete? What gets in the way of truly experiencing this is not a lack within us, but rather the limiting beliefs we’ve unconsciously adopted about ourselves over time.
These limiting beliefs develop as our minds attempt to make sense of past experiences, especially negative events or traumas, both big and small. Because of the brain’s natural negativity bias, we tend to remember and internalize negative experiences more than positive ones. Over time, this bias can shape how we see ourselves and the world, often without us realizing it. When left unexamined, these limiting beliefs take the driver’s seat, influencing our decisions, emotions, and sense of fulfillment. Legendary coach Steve Chandler refers to this as living a “default life," a life shaped by unconscious fears and outdated narratives rather than conscious choice. This can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, stagnation, and a lack of clarity or confidence.
Example: Imagine you’re a 10-year-old playing baseball in a high-stakes moment. The bases are loaded, and you have the chance to hit a home run to win the game. But instead, you strike out. As you walk away, you hear a teammate behind you say loudly, “Aww man! What a loser.” A wave of shame washes over you, and without realizing it, you internalize his words, believing them to be true. Because of how the brain works, once it adopts a belief, it starts looking for evidence to reinforce it. From that moment on, whenever something goes wrong, your brain automatically tells you, “See? I knew it. You’re a total loser. Nothing ever works out for you.”
Coaching helps us break free from this default way of living by developing self-awareness and intentionality. Rather than being controlled by old stories and fears, we learn to direct our energy toward what truly matters. We develop the ability to observe when our negativity bias is at play, not make our negative or fearful thoughts wrong by understanding they are a sign of a healthy brain doing it's job to keep us alive, send ourselves some compassion and make conscious choices despite our fear. In doing so, we can let go of the striving to “find ourselves” to actively creating ourselves, shaping a life that aligns with our values, purpose, and full potential.
I Affirm: Today I take a moment to create myself by aligning a small step with what matters most to me.
Step By Step,
Jessie
